16 Apr The two things I appreciate most about my mom
I used to love getting my feet as cold as possible on the tiles from our apartment hallway. I was about 3, and with frozen feet got into my mom’s bed, together with my two-years-older sister, and got my feet warmed up against my mom’s. Over night I would become as hot as an oven and she would hold me so I warm her up , as on the Romanian communist regime, in my town, we only had heat twice a day for few hours. Throughout the rest of the day the gas stove was warming our place.
My mom was a single parent, having split off my dad when she was pregnant with me. I remember how we used to pray every night for money to get underwear and pyjamas, and I was walking up to see my mom praying or crying next to our bed. It was heart breaking for me as a kid seeing her suffering.
She sometimes had breakdowns, but I never blamed her, as I knew she did as much as she could do for us. Still, there are two things that are engraved in my memory and shaped her image in my mind.
The first one is the closeness and openness we had in our family, as I always felt her love and could see her sacrifice. That love has been the engine of my love for people, helping them to discovering their talents, their purpose in live and the path to achievement.
The second one surfaced in my college years. My mom liked to read a lot and to learn how to constantly change into a better person. As my sister and I left for college and then settled far from home, she started calling us regularly to tell us how sorry she is for various times when she reacted in a wrong way, or she did something that now she realized it hurt us. I barely remembered those moments, because of the memory of her love for us. Nonetheless it felt so good to hear her say “I am sorry for what I said then” or ” I am sorry for screaming at you that time”. I felt valuable, I felt that I matter, that she is my friend, and that I am her friend. Her humbleness and passion to change at an age when many people think they have it all figured out, makes me admire her so much. She was not demanding respect. She was asking for forgiveness, even though she had been sacrificing so much for us, having the right to just demand, she was rather giving … again.
I love you Mommy. You are my hero.