11 Aug What makes a marriage last at least 7 years
Rebeca and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary. It was tough trying to go out with a 2 year old and a newborn and we were close to giving up. Still, we made it to a restaurant. Thank God they fell asleep and we had about one hour to laugh and talk and share our thoughts.
We talked about what we’ve learned from each other this year and how we’ve grown and changed throughout our marriage until now, what we should we do more often and what not to do again…We learned so much as a couple although we’re stubborn, very different and have our own perspective and ideas. We worked over time on listening and understanding what each of us feels, why and how important is to respect that.
But if I was to choose one thing that kept us together, shaping our marriage and improving into better versions of us, I would say it’s giving.
Months and years fly by, and it comes a point when you may feel the person next to you is not fulfilling your needs anymore, and that’s not fair. They don’t understand you and don’t even seem to try, and you feel like you’re sacrificing and carrying all the weight. Well, if that’s how you feel, than most probably they feel the same way.
That’s the moment to remember that only continuing at that right moment to understand your partner and fulfill their needs, you get stronger, more patient, and they will appreciate that, and realize your love. And when they do, they will feel the extraordinary need to do the same for you.
So instead of a negative focus on what each should receive we should find ourselves striving to fulfill as much as possible each other's needs.
It’s so much easier when you start the marriage with this approach … But even if you do, like I did, you still find yourself almost every day tempted to request what you think you deserve. It’s a continuous choice. But it’s worth it.
What happens if you don’t do it? You can probably quit and get into another relationship or marriage, but it’s very likely that you’ll end up in the same place …
So spend time with your spouse or partner, understand their needs and do your best to fulfill them. Do it so they become better and happier people. That’s what love is about. And they will most likely feel it and strive to do the same for you.